Five Years, Two Different Lives

COOPER CAMP – Unhappy, unhealthy and antisocial. Those are the three words I would use to describe myself during my high school years. Yes, I was an athlete and performed well in my sporting events, but I had an unhealthy relationship with food and was in a constant battle of overeating and undereating. 

The root of this vicious cycle? I was unfulfilled and incredibly understimulated socially. To say my social life was lacking five years ago was the understatement of a lifetime. 

I went to a small, private high school where there were very few girls and an excess of cliques. Throughout my four years there, I struggled to try and find my place and where I fit in among my peers. 

There was a constant, soul-crushing feeling I found myself becoming far too familiar with; isolation. I felt like an outsider. No one quite seemed to fully understand me and I found myself struggling to have a good self-concept. I wasn’t one of them, and I never would be. Would these feelings ever go away? Or would I feel this way forever? 

With these feelings came clinical depression and eating disorders. Every day was a constant battle to get out of bed and do day-to-day activities. There was nothing to look forward to, no one I truly wanted to see or converse with. I was chronically miserable. 

I thought I was never going to be able to find a balance between health and happiness. That all changed once I got to college. 

At the risk of sounding cliche, I genuinely can barely believe that I am the same person. I am so much happier and am in the best shape of my life – and I owe that in my part to the friendships and social life I have now. 

Humans are social beings. It is our nature to want to interact with others and find social acceptance. Because I am satisfied socially, I make active efforts to take care of myself in ways I never did before. 

There have been many studies conducted regarding how when your social desires are met, you tend to be healthier physically and mentally – and I am living proof of that. 

My physical and mental health are both in significantly different places than they were five years ago. I almost feel as if I have lived two completely different and separate lives, and it’s all because of the difference in the social aspects of my life. 

To my former self, 

Hang in there. I know it’s lonely and the days are long and draining. Trust me, the pain you feel now is nothing compared to the joy you will feel in a few short years. 

People are going to like you. People who choose and make active efforts to be your friend, not out of convenience – but because they want to be. They’ll love you for who you are, and eventually you’ll love yourself the same way too. 

Copy Editors: Alina Baiju, Yeongseo Son

Photography Source: https://www.inc.com/hillel-fuld/help-your-business-by-taking-care-of-your-mental-health.html